15
Mar
2004

GOT’CHA!

College pranks were so much fun. At Michigan State, we called it pimping someone, for linguistic reasons that now escape me. Once while the RA, Ann, was in a 4-hour meeting, all of the girls on my freshman dorm floor, with the help of Ann’s suitemate, removed EVERYTHING from her room, and set it up in the Study Lounge exactly as it had been in her room, down to the Passout game under the bed.

Another time Julie and I made a mess of a particular brother floor room by supergluing a penny over the keyhole, using a blowdryer to blow baby powder under the door (this is a BAD idea. Never do this. Especially if the recipients weigh more than twice the two of you), and cutting out letters from brightly-colored construction paper and taping them to the door to spell out “Ram it up the Poopshoot.”

Putting toothpaste on someone’s telephone and then calling them was a common one, as well as simply calling floormates and flushing the toilet in their ear. My roommates and I developed the cold-water shower bomb, but that one was retired after Julie got bombed once when she was fully clothed. For Valentine’s Day, we girls spent several hours drawing hearts and messages on roll after roll of toilet paper and then TP’ing the brother floor.

I don’t remember the origin of the Great Shredded Newspaper War, but it was 4 of us girls against 4 of the guys on our brother floor. A VERY large bag full of shredded newspaper went back and forth with increasing oneupmanship and hilarity. At one point my entire closet was stuffed full of shredded newspaper. Then we managed to get it into the guys’ bathroom. Then it ended up up under the covers of Terri and Robin’s beds. Finally, one night, very very late, we covered up the door to their room with newspaper and filled the space behind the paper with the shredded bits so that when they opened the door in the morning, a flood of shredded newspaper flowed down to their feet and left them facing a “wall” of newspaper which they had to rip through to get out of their room. 🙂

One of the best pranks I ever heard of was perpetrated on my father when HE went to college at Michigan State. 🙂 Apparently, one night when he had a hot date, he came downstairs to the garage and found his little convertible turned completely sideways. It took him forever to inch back and forth in the space to get it to the point where he could drive it out the garage port.

Couldn’t Have Said It Better….I Think: Now the week has gotten away from me and I have not updated, and I have all these crazy thoughts. But whenever I have gone too long without posting I feel weirdly nervous, and when I get nervous I stick to the to the straight whowhatwherewhenwhy recap, narrative being the rubber raft we cling to when we are shipwrecked on the textual ocean, and the brutal Blinking Cursor is beating down on us like the sun, and also on the raft is that one guy who drank seawater and now he is ranting and loony and the rest of us are all looking at each other and silently agreeing to eat him. Mimi Smartypants

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