How much time do you spend alone? Are you lonely when you’re alone? I don’t know why I’m even asking YOU, the hypothetical reader, when I know it’s basically 3 people who sporadically read this blog, and while asking a direct question might elicit a comment, my question is mostly rhetorical.
I’m alone a LOT. Martin has moved out, Anders is traveling all the time for work, Karin is home occasionally, but not every night, not by a long shot, even though she technically lives here, and while I am out some evenings and have plans and do things, I’m still alone a LOT.
Mostly I don’t mind. I like my house. I like my garden and my yard, I like the things that I’ve surrounded myself with, which is good, because I see them a lot. I like to sit and read, or play games on my iPad, or do a puzzle, or go for walks, or clean things, but sometimes I wish I had someone to do them with. Someone I like. Someone I chose.
When you have kids, you never really think about the part where they grow up and move away and spend the majority of their time with other people, away from you. You sort of thing they’ll be around forever. And by around, I mean HERE. And I can scarcely complain, considering that I have lived in Sweden for going on 27 years, and my own mom is very much alone, even though she’s at least closer to my sister than she used to be.
I wonder if I would like it better if we all lived in a multi-generational house like in the old days when you had your parents, and your children, and possibly your grandparents, all together in the same home. It would probably drive me crazy, to be honest.
I’m not a lone wolf, but I’m not a flock animal either. I’m probably more introverted and more in need of downtime, or alone time, than the average person, but I’m a little tired of it right now. It’s not going to change, and I don’t really want to make plans just to make plans, but I need to think about whether I’m okay with the status quo and if not, what I need to do about it.
I wonder if I can get my mom to move here.
Mood: contemplative
Music: Sister Hazel—All For You