19
Feb
2008

WHEN IT HAPPENS TO ME, SHOULDN’T IT BE CALLED “WOMANIC”?

Some days when I sit down at the computer to write something I have no idea what will come out of my fingers. hahaha! Some days! As if. I meant every day! My fingers have a mind of their own when it comes to coming up with something to say, apparently. Mouth silent, brain rabbit-nibbled, but fingers? Clickety pressing and dancing and hopping up and down as if they were possessed.

I have absolutely no idea where I’m going with this but apparently my fingers don’t give a shit. On they go!

This week has been the wringiest yet at work and yet I soldier on. I even stay late just to try and get ahead of the game, just to try and knock some ducks off that row they’re lined up in. However, just like in Veberöd, they keep on coming. Much like an energizer bunny…or my fingers.

My husband mentioned, in company, last weekend, something that I had written on my blog. I think I might have jumped, startled again by the knowledge that this is not my private headspace here, but a PUBLIC FORUM. Does your journal or blog or online diary or whatever the hell you think of it as surprise you like that sometimes? I mean, I know I am always writing for an audience, but most of the time I sort of subliminate that audience into ME. I’m writing for you, but you are ME, and I am you, and HI HONEY! I swear I did not get into the liquor cabinet while you were gone and drink all your whisky and then top it off with water so you wouldn’t notice. Nasty stuff, whiskey.

Anyway, if you were looking for a point, it’s over there >>>>>> *points*

*then cracks up*

I seem to be slightly manic at the moment (judging solely by the speed of my fingers and not at all by the extreme silliness of this post so far) and there isn’t really any reason why. I miss my husband, because having him around is like having a warm light at the center of my universe. Even though he’s not here at the moment, I know the lamp is still lit, it’s just a bit blinkered. There’s a word for that, when it refers to lanterns, but I can’t think what it is. “Blinkered” is the only thing that comes to mind and I know that’s not quite right. There seems to more of this sort of thing going on these days than I care for: forgetting words, not being able to come up with words when I need them, coming out with a Swedish word instead because it springs to mind and my brain and tongue have a Swenglish conspiracy going on between them, apparently. So I’m glad to have had it confirmed today that I will be getting to go to the States and work for 2 weeks again, just like I did last year.

Unfortunately, I can’t take my family along this time, because Easter is being pesky and coming too early this year, but! Lizardmom will be packing her bags and tagging along with me again (at least that’s the plan at the moment). My fingers are suddenly slowing down and remembering some of the things I wanted to write about, but this post is getting a bit unwieldy as it is, so they might have to wait.

Or not. Yesterday, when I picked up the kids (Anders already being on his way to Italy) and brought them home, I insisted that they go immediately for a walk with me because the sun was still up and it was light out when we parked the car in our driveway at 4:40 p.m. I sprang into the house to go to the bathroom and barked at them: STAY THERE! DON’T TAKE OFF YOUR STUFF! They rolled their eyes at me, but obeyed. Then we went for a nice walk—well, Karin rode her bike in circles around us most of the time—and the whole way they asked me questions like this: Mom, will I live to become an adult before farmor dies?* Mom, how do you know when you’ve met the right person to marry? Mom, what’s the right age for having a baby?** etc. etc. etc. Frankly, I was relieved when I got “Mom, do you know anyone who’s been sprayed by a skunk?”***

I answered to the best of my ability in every case,**** without (much) pulling any punches and am rather hopeful that they are tormenting their grandparents with this sort of thing for the rest of the week, because my god! I suppose you’re never ready for birds and bees and death and skunks when you just want to come home from a hard day’s work and go for a walk with your kids!

***

If you have the chance to go to any of these, I hope you will, because I can guarantee there will be magic in the air: Squam Art Workshops

***

Really Great Writing Out There Right Now: Construction Zone

More Really Great Writing Out There Right Now: Choices

*Well, hrmmmm, that depends on farmor…and on you.
**Never, kid, no sex for you!
***No. Geezus, you kids are making my brain hurt with all these advanced questions that I’m not ready to answer yet!
****True answers there, every one.

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