28
Jan
2023

CONVALESCENCE AND CONCENTRATION

Today is January 28, which means there are 3 days left in this first month of 2023, not including today since it’s already nearly 3:30 pm. I have been sick, more or less, mostly more, for all 28 of the days so far in this month. I am taking it super easy this weekend, with my goal to be better enough on Monday to get to Malmö for our first AIC monthly meeting of the year which is both a trivia night AND our annual media sale.

I have 4 bags of books to donate, which have been gathering in my closet for 3 years. And since I’m the media sale organizer, I’m also the one who needs to go back to Malmö the next day, after work, with ALL the remainders from the sale to drop off at Bladins, who is having THEIR annual book sale for the first time in 3 years the following week.

I’ve been in the office only 4.5 days this month. I’ve been working from home a total of an additional 11 days, which were all more or less half-days. I will see if I work from home Monday and Tuesday, as well, though I’m hoping they won’t be half-days. But just to be absolutely sure that I’m not going to have a relapse again.

My friend Sacha, after I had to cancel our planned lunch last week, realizing that I was working when I wrote him, told me that I suck at being sick. GO BACK TO THE SOFA, he said. I’m SICK of the sofa, I replied. I told my friend Debbie later what he had said, and she laughed and said she agreed with him. “You also suck at being on vacation,” she told me. HAAA. I rep-resent that, I wrote back. I was better the last couple of times! I told her I thought I had done a STELLAR job of being sick this month. Wouldn’t you agree?

My goal for February is to get a doctor’s appointment to find out what the hell is wrong with me. Why do I get swollen lymph nodes all the time? Why is my face so dry and peeling? Do I need to have my thyroid tested? Do I have some sort of simmering infection in my body? ugh. So boring to write about stupid health concerns and sickness all the time.

My other goal for February is get the hell out of the house. Apart from the 4 days I was “well” and worked, and did some social things, I have not seen my friends since before New Years. I have not been for a walk. I have been to the grocery store once. Making it to the mailbox has been a triumph. Getting the bird feeders on the back porch filled makes me feel like Rocky. Small steps, baby, small small steps.

***

I’ve been reading H is For Hawk by Helen MacDonald. It is so good it’s hard to put down. I read for what feels like hours, but it’s because every word is so perfect and deliberate and chosen and right that it takes me longer to consume sentences and meaning. There is so much beauty and fire and grief in this book that when I do put it down it’s only because my brain is so saturated and inundated that it needs time to process…and then I get antsy and have to pick it up and immerse myself in it again. I had recommended it for book group last year but it didn’t get voted in. Big loss, book group, you lose.

When we had book group here some weeks ago during my brief bout of semi-wellness (there were 4 of us), another book that was recommended but not chosen came up, because 2 of the participants had read it anyway, and the way they spoke about it made me put it back on my mental list, too. I didn’t vote for it, but it will be read, regardless. (A History of the World in Six Glasses by Tom Standage)

We had so many books to choose from, but it’s a bummer that such good ones didn’t make it, when some that did have been rather disappointing. I didn’t even finish the one that our latest gathering was for, making it only through the Kindle sample of 3-4 chapters before giving up. Life’s too short to read bad books, and it’s also to short to read ones that might be good, but that don’t capture me or my imagination after giving them a chance.

Being able to download samples of books on Kindle is the best thing since sliced bread. I don’t buy physical books anymore, and being able to try a book and make a decision about whether to spend the money to buy it virtually is a fantastic perk of being Nooked. A friend of mine posted on Facebook about a book swap she was organizing recently. I wasn’t sure what exactly was involved, and asked her for details. It turned out she was chain-lettering books, and people could send a physical book to the next person on the list. How many books you received depended on how many people joined in. I have a loathing of chain letters, but books were tempting. However, since it meant that people would be sending me RANDOM books that they chose, instead of books I ACTUALLY wanted, along with the issue of getting physical books, I opted out. I’m a book snob, for sure, but I don’t want random books chosen by strangers. I have a huge long list of books I really WANT to read, and they’ll have to take priority. Plus, mailing books is expensive, especially from here to the US, or vice versa, and I am willing to bet the people involved would have been shocked at the cost of their innocent book swap if they found out they had to send packages overseas, haha!

And now I’ve been away from my book for too long, and I must go dunk myself in it again.

Mood: contemplative
Music: Valerie Carter—O-o-h Child

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