When was the last time I saw you?
It feels as if the pandemic has squashed all conception of time, and I’ve lost track. I feel like I haven’t seen most anyone in years, apart from my husband, kids, two best friends Debbie and Camilla, and my colleagues.
The last time I saw my mom was June 2019, for a week in Seattle. That was, incidentally, the last time I saw my oldest friend Becky, and Chuck (and got to meet his wife). I saw Russell in Stockholm in June 2019 as well, but the last time I saw Kathey was Christmas of 2018. That’s also the last time I saw my Grandma Pangborn. The last time I saw my brother and his family (pre-third child) was August 2019. The last time I saw my sister? 2017!! FIVE YEARS AGO. That’s insane.
I last saw my college roommate Julie in 2016, which, incidentally, is the last time I saw the majority of my relatives. My best friend Debbie from high school was here for a weekend in 2015. Most of the rest of my high school friends haven’t been seen since my 20-year reunion in 2002. And the rest of my junior high gang of friends? 2009 and 2004.
It’s not that these people and all the others who mean something to me are gone…they’re far away, yes, but at the same time, they are only a thought away. I think of my family and friends all the time. I think of them when I see things around my house that remind me of them. I see their posts on social media (some of them, anyway). I talk to some of them on the phone, or on Facetime, or via chats. Distance is just a figure of speech for some of them, for some of us.
The last time I saw my dad was in 1996, before we moved to Sweden, before he died. Even the dead are still in my head, though. Their distance is just more definitive.
And that’s not even counting my newest niece Kaya, who is a year and a half old and whom I STILL haven’t met! I miss her, too, and we’re total strangers! (if you don’t count waving and smiling and baby talk on Facetime)
I miss them all. I’m so grateful for the internet, and email, and the part social media plays in helping close the distance. And today, my mom and my sister are getting on a plane and flying to Europe. They are flying direct to Munich, where my brother will pick them up. There are no COVID restrictions anymore, and while travel is a huge hassle right now, it’s also POSSIBLE. They’ll be there for 2 weeks, and then we will all be meeting for a week on Bornholm. And then mom and Sarah are coming home with us to Sweden for another 2.5 weeks.
And after that, the gods of distance and travel willing, it will NOT be another 5 years before we see each other again.
Mood: anticipatory
Music: Yuna—Remember My Name
I was thinking about the fact that on most social media platforms, there’s a way of giving a post a thumbs-up, or a heart, or something else to basically say, “I took a moment to read what you had to say, and I’m glad you wrote it. But I also have nothing in particular to add to it in a comment, so I’m just tapping this little button here instead. Hope that’s enough this time.”
So here you go…
👍
That’s enough THIS time 😀