05
Jan
2017

STERNUTATION SISTER

How hard do you sneeze? I once worked with a woman who sneezed like a machine-gun mouse…a sort of mini rapid-fire pew pew pew, if you will. When I sneeze, it’s like all my internal organs and everything inside my head are trying to come out, explosion-style. And I sneeze a lot. Multiple times every day. I start the day with a sneeze, in fact, if I don’t manage to blow my nose minutes after I am awake and/or vertical. I think my sneezes have gotten more violent over the years…they actually scare me sometimes. Thanks, allergies.

My nose is super-sensitive, in general. Changes in temperature make me sneeze, sunshine makes me sneeze, dust makes me sneeze, some flowers and plants make me sneeze, and I’m pretty sure my bed is trying to kill me. That, combined with the amount of times I am forced to blow my nose each day, often makes me want to rip my head off. I’m pretty sure I’m funding the Corvette that the CEO of Kleenex is driving*. Kleenex is #100 on Forbes’ list of the the World’s Most Valuable Brands, in case you were wondering.

I have considered trying to count how many times I blow my nose during an average day, but I always give up after the first box of tissues. At work, when I go down for breakfast, I always grab a stash of napkins to keep at my desk for the day. It’s ridiculous. And yes, I’ve been tested and no, I don’t have any of the triggers around (except in spring), I’m not even reacting to anything, I’m just in a reactive state 365/24/7. People ask me constantly if I have a cold because I am always stuffed up, but no. It’s literally just my usual state of being. The skin of my nose is so inured to blowing that I can use paper towels with no problem. I keep boxes of tissues all over the house, so they are always in quick reach. I feel obligated to tell friends and co-workers that they don’t have bless me after each sneeze. I am sufficiently blessed by now.

I’ve tried several different procedures, and medicines and nothing really works for long. I don’t want to take pills or sprays every day, so I use them sporadically. I’ve considered the treatment that is fairly new, where you get shots to permanently end the condition, but it’s not any one thing that they could treat for. It’s just my entire system in revolt. If I had developed asthma as one of the symptoms I suppose I’d be much more ready to get it taken care of, but it’s just…sneezing. And an over-producing mucus factory in my sinuses. URGH.

This wasn’t at all what I was going to write about, and now it’s gone clean out of my head…like everything else. Haaaa.**

We had a half-day today and tomorrow is a holiday, so yay! long weekend! We have no plans to boot, so I am hoping to get some stuff done around the house, including book purging for the upcoming media sale, and closet-cleaning, which is long-overdue. I’m already done with May in my 2016 blog book, and fully expect to be done with it and ready to print by the end of the weekend. Maybe I’ll go see a movie or something.

*Google knows everything…EVERYTHING.
**Number of times I’ve stopped writing this post to go blow my nose: 3

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