Still haven’t been feeling up to snuff this week and yesterday I woke with a bad headache on top of the sort-of head cold that won’t go away, and an earache that had started the night before and caused me to sleep poorly, so I stayed home from work. I worked today but I definitely still feel sub-par. How many times can you blow your nose before there’s nothing left but a large seeping hole in your face? Honestly.
One of my colleagues said, when she saw me in the office, “You don’t look sick at all!”
“Ha!” I groused. “That’s because you can’t see the inside of my head.”
And I thought, that always happens. People can’t TELL you’re sick when you have a cold or a flu or a fever, until you’ve wasted away or you’ve been bedridden without a shower for days. It’s not fair. You feel like shit but if you’ve bothered to put on your make-up and come into the office to fulfill your obligations, no one gives you any sympathy because you don’t look like you need it.
Well! I’ve come up with a solution! Since there’s no way, bar genetic tinkering, to have our faces SHOW what we’re sick with, what about a lovely little sticker set? You could just slap the one that defines whatever your illness is on to your cheek, and voila! Instant sympathy for the ill.
Blue for colds, green for stomach flu, red for fever, grey for sore throat. Maybe light brown and dark brown for diarrhea and constipation…the possibilities are endless (and perhaps, a bit disgusting). It would be just as effective as the ribbons for the various types of cancer (though you can wear those in SUPPORT/AWARENESS and not just if you actually have whatever it is they stand for): your problem identified without you having to explain or defend your sick leave.
First I thought they could go on your forehead, like the Hindu bindi dots, but Hindus get sick, too and then what would they do? Everyone would think they have constant fevers.
“Hrm,” I said to Martin, after relating that idea to him. “That might have been a little racist.” I looked over at him. “Borderline?”
He raised his eyebrows. “Look behind you.”
“At what?” I asked.
“The BORDER.”
Heh. Well, not on purpose. Just think! We could all be issued our sticker set at birth and when you run out, you just fill out (in?) a form online at your local health clinic to order more. I’m all for anything that engenders more sympathy for the ill. And bonus! If your stupid co-worker is in the office even though SHE’S SICK, then you’ll know exactly what you’re dealing with and how far at arm’s length to keep her, while telling her how sorry you are that she’s under the weather. Win-win!