Yearly Archive: 2009

04
Jun
2009

ALL OVER THE MAP

Christina and Rée and Erin are making magic with words. They do it all the time and o! it makes me wild with envy and it makes me stutter with wonder and each word they choose is so right that I find myself holding my breath as I read all the way to the end where the explosive whoosh as my breath releases all at once in a cloud of joy. Some of my blog friends have stopped up their mouths with silence. Did you ever read Harlan Ellison’s I Have No Mouth & I Must Scream? That is what...

03
Jun
2009

FRUSTRATIONS & FRAGMENTARY FEELINGS

I get so aggravated by being slowed up when I’m working fast. Especially by things outside of my control like a constantly crashing computer. I want to be able to move quickly and do quickly and think quickly, preferably at several things at once and not being able to do it smoothly makes me crazy. I can do quick so well when things go smoothly. Something else that drives me crazy is having to do things over or make revisions to something I’ve already finished because someone else changes their mind or misses something or forgets something. It’s human nature,...

01
Jun
2009

BAKER’S DOZEN

The sun is shining. The sky is a bright bright even blue. There was a rainbow-colored hot-air balloon drifting low over the trees in the backyard about half an hour ago while I was on the phone with my sister. The lilacs are nearly finished but now the poppies and irises and peonies are popping. Meadow buttercups dot the grassy sward between our neighborhood and the school, and every green slope along every road and highway is cheerfully whitened with daisy faces. Today is our 13th wedding anniversary and Anders gave me 13 roses. It’s really easy for both of...

29
May
2009

DRAINED

All week I’ve been dreading attending the funeral of my friend, Carol. How do you reconcile the death of someone your own age when there is so much still to DO, so much planned, so many years of experience still to come? When you know that person didn’t want to go, wasn’t ready to go, and went in such a blindingly fast and unjust way? Maybe no one is ever REALLY ready to go, but I suspect that when you’re 90 it’s easier to accept than when you’re half that. The weather today was changeable. It kept changing. It rained...

26
May
2009

JAG SKA BARA

Martin and I were going to go for a walk after dinner, but I had to get a couple of quick things done to finish and publish this month’s AWC newsletter/website and when I was done with that I had to do a quick-read through my friends list and answer emails and as I sat here the room gradually got darker and darker until I got up and turned on the light, and then did a double-take because it was only 7:30…and it’s supposed to still be light out! Then thunder rumbled. bbbuuuuummmmbbbblebooooommmmm, it went. Hmmm…I thought (with my Einstein...

24
May
2009

THIS, THAT, THE OTHER

It’s Sunday morning, the 4th and last day of a long weekend. I was just realizing that the reason it’s a long weekend in America is because it’s Memorial Day weekend, while the reason why it’s a long weekend here in Sweden is because of Ascension Day. Strange. The sun keeps trying to come out…it’s been up and down and hiding and peeping all weekend. We’re back to the “wait-5-minutes” typical Swedish weather, it seems. I’m really hoping that the sunshine sticks around or at least comes back full force when my brother comes at the end of June, but...

19
May
2009

WHEN IDEAS FAIL, WORDS COME IN VERY HANDY*

Maybe I have a hole in my head where all the words have leaked out. I looked down around my feet to see if they were there, but all I see is bright green new grass. Sometimes pavement. Sometimes shoes. Where have the words gone? Have they traded in their D’s for M’s and gone inching off, into the grass, greening themselves with protective coloring? Camo-worms. I know that technically I shouldn’t have used apostrophes there with D & M, but I seem to remember that sometimes apostrophes are necessary when the lack of them would cause confusion. You wouldn’t...

17
May
2009

THIS VERY MOMENT IS THE ONLY ONE YOU KNOW YOU HAVE FOR SURE

My kids are waltzing, or what passes for waltzing in their pre-adolescent, high-school-musical-filled brains, in the living room. They’re singing as they twirl, and as they pass the doorway they both make a huge grin in my direction and then stop and come in to see what I’m doing. AAH! they exclaim, when they see that I’m writing about them (they’re sitting here giggling right now). Their cheeks are bright pink, and their skin is cold: they were out in the chilly evening air watering the garden …and each other… a few minutes ago. I kept thinking it would rain,...

14
May
2009

IN LOVING MEMORY

My friend passed away this morning, too fast and too soon. She had one of the most generous loving hearts I’ve ever known and the world is a grayer place without her light in it. Rest in peace, Carol. The earth will never be the same again. Rock, water, tree, iron, share this grief As distant stars participate in pain. A candle snuffed, a falling star or leaf, A dolphin death, O this particular loss Is Heaven-mourned; for if no angel cried, If this small one was tossed away as dross, The very galaxies then would have lied. How shall...

11
May
2009

THANKS, I NEEDED THAT

Despite the ups and downs of sorrow the sun keeps on shining and I muddle along. I dragged Martin up off the sofa and made him go for a walk with me after dinner this evening. The sun was lowering, but still high in the sky; it hasn’t reached its zenith yet…we’re still enjoying the lengthening days. It’s cool in the evening air, there’s an autumn-y nip in the spring sunlight which is rather refreshing. I much prefer a cool, sunny spring to a direct dive into humidity and heat, so no complaints here. We pulled on fleeces and started...