06
May
2009

HOPE & HURTING

There’s always hope, right? In the bottom corner of the box, it sits and waits for you and springs up, as glad to see you as you are to see it, when you finally dare to lift the lid one more time.

The hospital visit this evening went much better than I was prepared for and I feel so overwhelmingly grateful that maybe, maybe, hopefully, even if things aren’t looking up, they are at least looking a bit better for my friend who had been so steadily going downhill so fast this past week.

It’s hard to feel anything but hope when you’re driving along the highway in the evening sunshine of a late spring day that began with torrential downpours and gusting winds and ended with clouds playing sunshine peek-a-boo over the blinding sea of bright yellow rapeseed.

***

I get to a certain comfort level of knowledge with technology and sometimes I just want it to STOP there. But no, every single program and gadget and doodad has to be constantly, continually improved, updated, released in new versions with more functionality, more features, more bells & whistles, and you’re quickly behind the curve again if you don’t keep up. WHY do they have to put out a complete new version of the software I use for work every freaking YEAR? I know that the improvements are good ones, necessary ones, longed-for ones by the people who use the stuff, but sometimes I think: man, give it a rest for awhile. We just updated!

***

If you see my motivation, will you tell it it’s past time to get on home?

***

I participated in the annual Women’s 5K Run/Walk called Spring Rush (Vår Ruset) in Malmö this past Monday, along with 10,000 or so other women, 12 from our AWC. I’ve participated every year for the past 12 years except for 2, I think. You can walk, run or jog or whatever you want, and every year I’ve walked…more or less briskly, usually coming in around the 1 hour mark.

This year I was worried about shin splints because they’ve been plaguing me more and more every time I walk. 🙁 And with good reason. I warmed up and stretched and everything, and deliberately took it easy at the start, moving at a good pace but not overdoing it and still by the 1 kilometer mark, my shins hurt so much I was almost hobbling. The poor girl who was walking with me must have been completely exasperated though she did a good job of reassuring me that it was no problem and kept me company and distracted me with conversation as much as possible. It helped when I could move off the asphalt path to the edge and walk on the ground instead, but not enough and by the halfway point I had to stop and sit down and rub my legs and stretch them again for 10 minutes before I could move on. OW OW OW.

I thought seriously at least twice about giving up and ditching the Rush, and a couple of shortcuts were VERY tempting, but I managed to keep hobbling along at my snail’s pace. By the end my ankles and feet were hurting and my hips because of the weird overcompensating way I was walking, but I made it all the way to the finish line and much to my surprise had come in at only 10 minutes more than my usual hour-ish time, and I got my “medal” and one shin had finally stopped hurting by the time I sat down with the others for our team picnic dinner.

I don’t know if I have the wrong shoes, or if I just need new ones, (I’ve been walking with these gym shoes for several years) or if it’s a combination of walking too fast or not stretching ENOUGH or walking on hard surfaces or what, but OW. It hurt so much I’m not sure I want to do it again next year, and even my half hour evening walks aren’t very appealing right now. What to do? Stupid shins.

DeLovely DeLightful DeLirious (DeLinquently Belated) Birthday Wishes to same_sky and thinkum!

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