21
Sep
2005

SLIDING

There’s no longer any denying that fall is in full swing. 2 sugar beets by the side of the road: the definitive sign of autumn. The sugar beet factory is lit up and the chimneys are roaring. There’s a chill in the air, but when the wind isn’t blowing, it’s the perfect temperature where sweaters are nice but not necessary. There is this long slope ahead of me, down which I am skating, and I feel I’m doing slalom around each of the obstacles in my path. Each thing on my to-do list, each appointment, each commitment is a barrier, or a hurdle or a swerve in the sweeping curve of the months ahead. Even when I remove the AWC stuff from my plate, I can’t remove it completely and wouldn’t really want to. The calendars pages are so full that the few blank days shine out at me.

Time goes faster the older I get. Each year zooms by; it’s nearly Christmas again. Slow down, Time! I can’t keep up! I’m stumbling along in your wake!

Trying to keep up on LJ right now feels stressful. Trying to get everything done for the AWC meeting before Monday IS stressful. Looking at my calendars and to-do lists is crazy-making…I’ve not even had time this month to read anything. I read 1 book (plus 1 with Martin during bedtime storytimes) and can’t seem to get through the second one which is sitting dust-covered on my bedside table. When you consider that I usually average 10-12 books a month even WITH this crazy lifestyle of mine, you realize that things are definitely out of hand. It’s like this every fall, I remind myself, but that doesn’t really help. And I bought 5 more books today.

“Hello, my name is Liz, and I am a biblioholic.”

I can’t understand why I can’t shit or get off the pot when it comes to the book I’ve been in the middle of for 3 weeks now. The writing is great, but the storyline is pushing all my worst denial buttons. I don’t want to read, but I do. I don’t want to put it aside for good, but I do. I don’t usually have this much trouble giving up on a book I don’t like, but I guess the problem is not that I don’t like the book, exactly, I just don’t want to know what happens.

Isn’t shit or get off the pot a great expression? I suspect that’s another one of my father’s gems.

Maybe I’ll read one of my new books inbetween instead and see if that helps. 🙂

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