RELATIVITY
There’s nothing for making you feel old like your baby brother having a birthday. Any birthday. 30 was one of the best years of my life, and I had no problem whatsoever with it, ditto with 31 through 34…but the year I turned 35 my baby brother turned 30 and HOLY SHIT WAS I OLD. Super Duper Slacker Birthday Wishes to johann_metzger! In other news, how much prison time can I expect for totally braining my child if she doesn’t SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP ALREADY?!