I recently realized that one of the patterns that Anders and I unconsciously fall into when dealing with Karin is Good Cop Bad Cop. Guess who’s the Bad Cop? The thing that bothers me about that is that I don’t want to, consciously or unconsciously, turn it into Bad MOM. Mean Mom, I can live with. Strict Mom, even, to a certain extent.
Yesterday evening was bath night and I managed to turn Martin into my co-conspirator without any suspicion on Karin’s part. When it was bathtime, I just called Martin and we made the bathroom all mysig* with only the vanity lights on, and we dumped half the toy basket into the tub. Martin undressed and as he got in the tub he said, “Isn’t Karin going to take a bath?”
“Nah, she’s no fun when it’s bathtime, she just screams and fights,” I replied, “So, we’re not going to bother with her.” He gave me a semi-shocked, semi-gleeful look and said, “But, she’ll be all dirty and get stinky and everyone will laugh at her.**”
“Yep,” I said, “She will.” And left it at that.
Several minutes later, while Martin and I were laughing and playing (and he was getting scrubbed), Karin came in, looking a little truculent. “I don’t want to take a bath,” she said. “No one asked you,” I answered. “You’re no fun at bathtime, so we don’t want you here. Go on out until it’s time to brush teeth.”
She hung around, in and out, looking less certain. We ignored her, and finally she went out and shut the door. Martin and I continued with shampoo.
Then the door opened and Karin came back in, saying, “Mama, I’ve decided I can take a bath, but just for a little bit.” I hid a smile and kept my voice as even as possible. “Okay, off with your clothes and I’ll help you in.” Pop! In she went. 5 minutes later, while she was obliviously playing with the red and blue boats, I had her scrubbed and shampooed and was emptying the water from the tub and toweling off Martin.
“Mama!!” wails Karin, “I only got to be in the bathtub for a SECOND!” mmhmm…”Well, that’s what happens when you don’t come in on time,” says me, while on the inside I’m furiously pumping my fist and thinking HA!
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My best wishes to thesidhe for a safe and smooth flight tomorrow to start her off on the right foot for the next phase of her sure-to-be interesting and creative and full of love life.
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Leigh Ann of One Good Thing Lights Up the Motherhood Dichotomy: Because I Said So!
*cozy
**Score!