Tagged: beinglizardek

28
Dec
2008

NOT-QUITE-END-OF-YEAR BLUES

Itchy, restless feeling all day, couldn’t settle, couldn’t relax. Even reading didn’t help. I kept thinking I should get out, go shopping or something; after all, there are sales everywhere and why not take advantage of them? Except that we don’t NEED anything and we just GOT a lot of stuff, it being Christmas and all, and the last thing I really need to do is go spend money unnecessarily on things we don’t need. Plus, I couldn’t decide where to go. None of the shopping centers around the area seemed at all appealing and they all have essentially the...

09
Dec
2008

STARTS OFF BAD; GETS WORSE; GETS BETTER

First half of the day was awful, went from bad to cruddy with one thing after another coming at me like javelins. Haven’t had a day like that at work in quite some time so it threw me for a bit of a loop. Managed to regain my equilibrium in the afternoon just in time to go into an 1.5-hour long meeting about our work insurance and pension plans and conditions and by the time that was over, I was ready to wrap the day back up and return it for a new one. I don’t understand insurance and pensions...

10
Nov
2008

GET OFF GET UP GET OUT

Don’t write much on Tuesdays: karate class until late and baths seem to suck the motivation out of me. Rarely write on Wednesdays: choir until 9:30 p.m., don’t get home until after 10. Hard to write on Fridays: MYSKVĂ„LL and usually other late-night plans and commitments. Ditto Saturdays, though I seem to manage them better, probably because I’m posting earlier in the day. Which means typically I’m writing in this journal on Sunday, Monday and sometimes Thursday. Oh, the other weeknights do pop up for showing here and there, but I’ve noticed a pattern. I haven’t posted on a Tuesday...

12
Oct
2008

SHADOWBOX STORIES

My friend Carol posted about her successful crafty day event that she organized and hosted this weekend for the AWC and in the one of the photos she was standing in front of a shadowbox and I told her I wanted her to show closeups of it so I could see what she had in HER shadowbox. I’ve been a fan of shadowboxes for years, since I was a pre-teen in fact, because somewhere I saw someone use an old printer’s drawer for a shadowbox and I thought that was just the height of cool interior decorating (I was twelve,...

08
Oct
2008

AS CHARGED

For some reason, I’ve been musing about guilt lately. When it comes, when it stays, why I feel it, why I DON’T, in any particular situation or circumstance. Some things I feel guilty about but that doesn’t stop me from doing or saying or thinking them. Other things I don’t feel guilty about at all until they are pointed out to me from a different perspective. Feeling guilty is different from having regrets, although the two are sometimes so close as to be practically incestuous. But they’re fundamentally different things, and though I might feel regret about something I said...

05
Oct
2008

PRETTY PURCHASES

Whenever I go to art or craft fairs, the things I have the hardest time resisting are the things that are embroidered or tapestry or have certain animals like lizards (goodness knows why), moose, horses, dragons, cats and roosters. I don’t have ANY rooster stuff and I don’t have a lot of horse stuff either, but I’m drawn to them nonetheless. I’m not allowed to buy moose anymore, but they find their way to me regardless; it’s not my fault, I swear. The art/craft fair that we went to last weekend had over 70 exhibitors showing items in every imaginable...

11
Sep
2008

TOWARDS TORPOR

A new visitor to my blog made a comment today, mentioning the “hammer of the sleep gods” and wow, did that phrase ever strike me, and resonate all evening until I had a moment to sit down and write about it. Living in Sweden or, I imagine, anywhere this far north, brings with it an increasing and desperate awareness of light. What the sun is doing or not doing, whether it is shining, was shining, will shine, becomes much more important to every day life than one would like to admit to. In the springtime, the anticipation of the growing...

08
Sep
2008

IT GETS SO LATE AROUND HERE

The days just whiz by. Sometimes at the ends of them, I suddenly stop what I’m doing, and give a little shake of my head, blinking a bit, wondering, “What just happened? What have I been doing all day?” when the truth is life keeps motoring along whether I’m consciously partaking or not. Living on autopilot is a bad habit. Some things I have listed quickly so I wouldn’t forget to talk about them: Dirty Jobs, election ballot, rotating CDs, spider season, weird mom. Then I look at the list, a list of things that I kind of mentally wrote...

30
Aug
2008

POD PERSON

After a busy week like this past week, what I most looked forward to was sleeping in, and when my betraying body stirred regardless, early in the morning and then refused to return to slumber, it was a major inner grumbling that commenced. Strangely, despite staying up past 3 a.m. (late dinner party with the Wonders who didn’t leave until after 1, then a compulsion to tidy up the house so that I wouldn’t have to face it in the morning, then the self-idiocy in climbing into bed and picking up the book I was 60 or so pages from...

10
Jul
2008

SOMETHING SINISTER

For the past I-don’t-know-how-long, I have left the office every day with a sharp pain in my right shoulder/neck, caused, most likely, by my habit of sitting with my left leg tucked under me. Despite the fact that I use a Mousetrapper at work to keep my hands in front of me, this is still throwing me lopsidedly to the left just enough to cause strain on my right side. It isn’t helped by the fact that I invariably sit at the computer a lot while at home as well (frequently with the same leg tucked). In general, I lean...