Tagged: beinglizardek

12
Jan
2021

ONE DAY AT A TIME

Two days of work and my shoulders are killing me. Oy vey. Karin has promised to give me a massage tomorrow. She’s very good at it but she doesn’t do it long enough to stick. This week has been insane and it’s only Tuesday, god help me. HOLP! My mom and sister are in frazzled crazy mode, trying to get everything done before the Friday hand-the-keys-over deadline and I think their crazy has rubbed off on me, all the way from Michigan. We had a bad scare yesterday with Anders’ mom. The nurse called Anders’ sister mid-morning, who called him,...

30
Dec
2020

RETROSPECTIVE

ad a laugh just now when I looked back at my Retrospective entry from last year, and the expectations I had for the first year of the 20’s. Well, THAT certainly didn’t turn out as planned…for any of us. The H at the beginning of this post really sums up the entire year of 2020 for me. The terrifying split that is defining my birth country, the polarization of politics, the crisis of the global pandemic, the destruction of all our plans for the year. And personally, the passing of my grandmother in July and the sale and packing up...

27
Dec
2020

INBETWEENING

I’m a big fan of wish lists (not to mention lists in general). They’re helpful and useful and revealing and mistake-free. Some people claim not to like providing wish lists because then, they say, they’ll know what they are getting. Or they think that you should know them well enough to know what presents to get them. Screw that, I say. There’s no time for that. There is nothing wrong with getting a list of gift ideas for people, so that you don’t buy things that the recipient doesn’t want or doesn’t like or already has. I’d rather give nothing...

17
Nov
2020

YOU CAN SPEAK YOUR MIND BUT NOT ON MY TIME

I don’t care about lots of things that other people seem to care a ridiculous amount about. Princess Diana, for example. Don’t care. The 4th season of The Crown was just released and suddenly my social media is full of her again. Don’t care about royal families in general, for the most part, and the current one in the UK has less interest for me than most. I don’t care what they’re doing, who they’re marrying, where they’re vacationing, and whether or not they’re happy in their roles. I watched the first three seasons out of curiosity and thought they...

11
Nov
2020

BEARLY

I took a nap after work. I wasn’t going to but during my hour wind-down after I shut off my work laptop and before treadmill time and dinner, I couldn’t keep my eyes open. My excuse was that my hands were really cold…I needed to put them under a blanket. And then pull the blanket up to my chin. And then slide down as the best way to make sure my hands were warm was to curl up. It’s full-on hibernation time: dark, rainy, cold. Ugh. It appears I don’t have anything to talk about. Going to go watch Mad...

07
Nov
2020

STEPS IN A FORWARD DIRECTION

In the interest of trying to be more present in this space, here I am. Writing to myself, about myself. Wondering if anyone is reading this; and wondering if I care what the answer is. I’ve distanced myself on social media platforms, seldom commenting, and reducing my sphere of interaction rather drastically over the past several years…am I in place where I’m comfortable now, or is it time to start reaching out again? The thing is, it’s a two-way street, isn’t it? If I reach out, will anyone answer? Isn’t writing here a form of reaching out in and of...

01
Nov
2020

ON AND OFF AGAIN

I didn’t set out on purpose to take a month-long break from writing here, but halfway though the month, even though I was constantly thinking about writing something, I sort of gave up and went with the flow. I suppose I still felt like I had nothing much to write about, even though that is precisely what writing here is FOR: random thoughts. But this past year, as for everyone, has really taken its toll, and that’s despite everything in my life being FINE. I am fine. We’re fine. Everything here is fine. But I still feel tired, fatigued, exhausted....

27
Sep
2020

ROLLER COASTER

I had a bad week last week, feeling very down about a few too many things that are out of my control. Friday night I had plans to have dinner with my two best friends… just after lunch it started raining and it POURED for hours. Bucketing down. We stood at the window of our 7th floor office and watched raindrops fly UP and over the parapet as if it were a reverse waterfall. I had to go to the store and post office after work and driving was a nightmare: limited visibility despite the whipping wipers, huge standing patches...

29
Aug
2020

DOWN TO 2, UP TO 7

We’re officially a 2-person household again as Karin is in the process of moving out from under her parent’s roof and into another (temporary) apartment with a friend, this time in Malmö. Since she is working at Flyinge school, which is literally less than a 5-minute walk from our door, and will have to pay an alarmingly high amount in rent each month, plus deal with parking there, when she could continue to live here for free, I am a bit boggled by her choice, but she’s young and cool and ready to be on her own. And since she...

12
Aug
2020

I DID THIS AND THIS AND THIS AND THIS

I woke up with a headache and haven’t been able to shake it all day, despite drinking lots of water, sitting with the neck massager and taking ibuprofin. It’s still there, behind my eyes and at the base of my skull. Gah. It’s been a very productive week; in fact, it’s been a very productive 3 weeks (technically of vacation, but since I have worked almost every day I’ll have to tell my boss I only actually took two weeks). I had quite a long to-do list when I started and I nearly doubled it during the course of vacation....

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