Lizardek

12
Apr
2006

FARMWUZZIES

Lots of things made me happy today. Even though my cryk is back and my neck screams with sharp, stabby pain every time I turn it a little too far to the left, and it aches with a subliminal, ow-don’t-move-me kind of tension all the time, it was a good day. Springy No ice on the car windows this morning in the sunshine that had obviously already wiped it off in advance for me, despite the chill in the air. Seeing the pale green reaching fingers of daffodil leaves groping well above the ground, reaching for the sun. Realizing that...

10
Apr
2006

DEFATIGABLE

What I want and what I give myself are not the same things, most of the time, and to my chagrin. What I really want, more than anything else, RIGHT NOW, right this minute, is to fall asleep and slumber darksomely without interruption for 24 hours. At least. At the very, very least. I suspect 3 days of solid sleep would be even better and go much further toward restoring me to my true self. A self that is relaxed, gentle, generous, motivated, amusing, creative, sexy and efficient. Also, fair of face. Also, full of grace. Also, able to leap...

09
Apr
2006

CARPE WEEKEND

4 days is too long to go without journaling. There is a sense of slippage, of retreat. Life swells, full up, and takes over, and I’m swept away in the current of busyness. Dinner out with 2 friends, one good and older, one good and newer, a chance to just sit and relax and talk and laugh about everything and anything after a long busy week. Just what I needed. Then the deadline of guests arriving, forcing me to hit that perfect beat, boy, and get the damned house cleaned up. I swept into Roomba-mode and motored through the morning...

06
Apr
2006

POETRY THURSDAY

I ripped this poem out of the Sept/Oct 1993 issue of Ms. magazine, a jagged-edged heavyweight linen-feeling page with a black and white photograph of a woman facing away, her long hair blowing in the wind. Above her is a tall sky filled with white and fluffy, but somehow oppressive, cumulus clouds. Ahead of her is the twisty slingbacked road along the ridge of a highland, shining in the lowering sun. In the fall of 1993 I felt utterly alone. I wasn’t dating anyone, and I wasn’t in the mood to date anyone. I had been single for a very...

05
Apr
2006

I LOVE YOU, MAN

I love this journal. I love this community. I love the people I’ve met here who live in Sweden, who live in the States, who live all over the freaking world. Who take the time to stop by and read my blabbiter lickum and my obiter dictum and my moments of actually putting words together well. There are people ALL OVER who are linked to me, linked to each other, like daisies in a chain. I started writing here 3 years ago and I had no idea what I was getting into. If I HAD known, I would have started...

04
Apr
2006

WISH LIST

There are so many things that I want to do. I want to meet the members of my bloggity inner circle in person. I want to do a collage page a day in my book. I want to spend more time with my kids doing things that are fun for all of us. I want to go to bed early with my husband. I want to put together a book of my writings and publish it. I want to live closer to my sister, and my brother, and my mom. I want to walk a half an hour every day,...

03
Apr
2006

NO WHAMMIES, NO WHAMMIES

Good: my favorite colleague back after a 2-week vacation Not So Good: crunchy, undercooked rice in my sushi lunch *bleah* Good: finding a Reese’s Fast Break bar that I had stashed away and forgotten about Not So Good: Anders being gone overnight Good: feeling like my to-do list at work is back under control again Not So Good: still haven’t gotten Karin’s passport renewed Good: yearly bonus money making buying plane tickets for my brother’s wedding completely painless Not So Good: listening to Tracy Chapman over and over so I can memorize the song I will be singing at the...

01
Apr
2006

13 GOING ON 12

In choir we are practicing excerpts from Stabat Mater, an Easter mass concert that we are performing together with the Lomma Women’s Church Choir. It’s the first time since I joined the choir a couple of years ago that we’ve done religious music (apart from a couple of pieces in the big 3000-member choir concert we performed in Stockholm last year). Today we practiced from 10 to 4 in the chapel of the congregation house in Lomma, and it struck me again how much more majestic music sounds in a church with the open space and high ceiling. We worked...

31
Mar
2006

READ THE BEST BOOKS FIRST OR YOU MAY NOT HAVE A CHANCE TO READ THEM ALL*

When you find a great new blog do you go back and read through the archives? Why or why not? Does it make you feel like a stalker if you do? I am so unmotivated at the moment I’m amazed that I finally (after sitting and staring for what felt like forever) managed to actually start writing even if it was to cheat and ask a question of my readers thereby putting the onus of providing content on someone else. I’m curious, though. When I find an author I like I want to buy every book they’ve ever written and...

30
Mar
2006

POETRY THURSDAY

This is one of the first poems I ever copied down in a journal. It made me see the world differently. It made me start paying attention to and looking for the beauty in the details. It changed the way I wrote and the way I thought about the world. Read it slowly. The Fish by Elizabeth Bishop I caught a tremendous fish and held him beside the boat half out of water, with my hook fast in a corner of its mouth. He didn’t fight. He hadn’t fought at all. He hung a grunting weight, battered and venerable and...

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