Lizardek

01
Apr
2008

CRACK ADDICT

La la la! Hey there! How are ya? Good? Are you good? I’m good, though I was kinda wondering earlier when I felt that familiar sense of detachment settle around my shoulders like a warm and comfortable shawl. I’ve been in the process of shrugging it off all evening, however, and it’s currently lying on the floor, keeping my feet warm instead. I had a massage at work today, much-needed since last week just as I knocked on the door for my scheduled appointment she popped her head out with her coat on and made me want to cry by...

29
Mar
2008

FROGS & TOADS TOGETHER

Rainy days make me feel like I’m sunk inside myself with no way out. Grey is my mood, grey as the sky. Motivation is at an all-time low and though what I really want to do is lie down and nap I refuse to do so because I know that if I do, I will sleep for several hours, right through dinner, in fact, and will waken feeling drugged and sluggish and grumpier than before. Projects tug and tease at the corners of my mind but I keep ignoring them in favor of lethargy and leaning on one elbow playing...

24
Mar
2008

TAKING WHAT THEY GIVING

My brother and I are talking on the phone last week. It’s evening but I am working, as I have been doing every evening when I don’t have plans or previous commitments, for what seems like, and is, in fact, months. I’m grumpy with it and also with PMS and the fact that in the war against the inanimate, I am losing daily skirmishes—the windshield wipers on the car have, for instance, achieved strategic victories not once, but twice in the past several days. I can’t remember now what day it was that we talked, as every day has blurred...

20
Mar
2008

DEAR INTERNET

We’ve really grown apart lately, but honestly, it’s not you. It’s me. I never meant for my day job my other relationship real life to become so ALL-CONSUMING, but there it is. And here we are. I miss you. I’ll be back. I hope. *sigh* *kisses* PS. And you, Vern…excuse me, MR. Equinox, you can take your late-spring snow-dump and freezing temperatures and SHOVE THEM UP YOUR POOPSHOOT. *grump*

16
Mar
2008

THAT’S LIFE

Another weekend whizzes by. But now we have lots of time off to look forward to, as Easter approaches. The kids are off school this week but are at daycare part-time, since mom and dad are working until Friday. Friday is a day off! And Monday? Is a day off! We are not doing anything special for Easter, however, other than coloring eggs at some point, and hiding them presumably. And I need to go shopping for stuff to fill baskets with. I don’t know why, since this has always been a favorite holiday to celebrate American traditions on, that...

15
Mar
2008

BY WAY OF APOLOGY

Holy crap, it’s Saturday! Where did my good intentions go? Oh, to work, that’s where. They went to work and they never came back: THEY ARE STILL WORKING.

12
Mar
2008

TIME SPENT WITH CATS IS NEVER WASTED

I had not exactly forgotten how lovely it is to have a cat in the house, but it has, admittedly, been a VERY long time. We were forced to give our 2 Swedish cats away only about a year after we adopted them, when Martin was only a few months old, because Anders’ asthma had progressed to the point of dangerous on their account. Today, receiving Hanna was the last thing on a very long list of Things To Do, and much the most anticipated. Both the kids had school. Karin had swimming and Music-play group. Martin had music and...

11
Mar
2008

COMING FROM WITHIN

Despite the crazy busyness at work and the crazy busyness at home and the fact that I can’t seem to stop eating every freaking thing in sight, preferably with mayonnaise, I seem to be on an upsurge of quiet happiness this week. It’s despite the fact that Anders isn’t here. It’s in spite of the rain that invariably makes an appearance every day at some point. It’s not because of the long-desired out-of-print books I ordered the other day. It’s not because I am trying to make an effort to write here more frequently than I’ve been managing. I think...

10
Mar
2008

LIFE IS ALREADY TOO SHORT TO WASTE ON SPEED*

There’s no real coherency here, just observations and dribs and drabs of thought, as if my brain were a giant mixer and someone’s set it on permanent pulse. It’s like the damn dishwasher. Something is wrong with it and it stops in the cycle every 2 minutes and one has to come and restart it each time. After half an hour of this, it will run for awhile and then start the whole stop-and-start cycle again until the bitter end. What does it want from me? Just SOME ATTENTION?? Anders is in Italy again this week. He was there 2...

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