We watched the entire Eurovision 2021 final last night and in the last half of it, during the voting, the four of us were texting madly in a group chat. Martin, in Detroit, wasn’t able to watch it as he, my mom, and my sister, were in the midst of taking boxes and furniture to my mom’s storage unit an hour away. So he was very engaged in us keeping him up-to-date in real-time on how the voting was going. Karin was watching it at a friend’s place. The following conversation took place AFTER the final results were announced (much to our dismay, since none of us thought Italy deserved to win, especially over Switzerland, France or Iceland). Context included below since there are lot of inside jokes, but I wanted to record this for posterity as it made me laugh so much.
Me: OMG! ITALY WON—GEEZ FREAKING LOUISE
Martin: No way????
Me: Italy, France, Switz, Iceland, fucking Ukraine
Karin: I think Switzerland should have been above France
Martin: LMAO @ Ukraine. I can’t believe Iceland wasn’t even top 3.
Anders: Sweden needs to bet less on good songs and good artists and more on screaming and/or clowning around.
Me: I can’t believe Sweden was 14th! Ugh!
Martin: Hahahaha, don’t think Sweden will win again this century no matter what we do.
Me: If they get Måns Zelmerlöw to participate again, maybe!
Martin: Europe cannot resist the charms of mums* Måns. I wonder if Iceland would’ve done better with their 2020 song. It’s been stuck in my head all week. And if they’d been able to perform** LOL.
Karin: They would’ve, without a doubt.
Karin: I’m really disappointed. I thought Tusse was so good.
Me: He WAS good. He was excellent. Just the wrong year for the song.
Martin: Sweden needs to shake its jury-bait stigma if we wanna win again. We need to send a joke song. Just one to shake things up.
Me: We should send Brandsta City Släckers.
Martin: 💀 I’m dead.
Me: Me too hahaahahahahahha
Martin: Or OMG what was that one author?
Me: RANELID!
Martin: YES lmaoooo
Me: Anders is gonna come check on me any minute cuz I’m lying in bed laughing my head off
Me: #carola2022***
Anders: Bolibompa dragon**** singing Bajs i Bastun***** = 🏆
Martin: 💀💀💀
Karin: 39/39 twelves. And every single vote from the public.
* yummy
** The 2020 Eurovision Song Contest was cancelled due to the pandemic so they were never able to participate with their 2020 song. During the lead-up to 2021’s song contest, one of the band members tested positive for COVID-19 the day of the first semi-final so their “performance” was the video taken during rehearsals.
*** Carola, who is a well-loved and much-ridiculed singer in Sweden, won Eurovision in 1991. She was the celebrity that announced the Swedish jury’s points this year and her few minutes on air were extremely awkward and weird.
**** Bolibompa is a long-running, much-loved children’s TV program and the dragon is its mascot.
***** Bajs i Bastun, which literally translates to “Poop in the sauna” is an OBNOXIOUS song that Karin always queues up when we are Spotify-warring. We’ve all been subjected to the horror.