Spring is here, it’s here, it’s here! Finally. It’s warming, it’s greening, it’s blooming and it’s blowing…pollen. Straight into my eyes. I can admire the new buds through my red, itching slits of vision. But the sky is blue, the clouds are huge and white and puffy, the sun is warm and there’s no going back.
It’s Easter weekend, a long weekend, the first of the long weekends of the spring season. I am psyched, even though I worked longer than I should have yesterday on what was supposed to be a half-day and even worked about half an hour this morning. Because I am nice. Also conscientious. Also, an idjit.
We had bad news at the beginning of last week. My aunt has been diagnosed with cancer: a brain tumor. Aggressive and large and fast-growing, and there is nothing good to be said about that. They are going with radiation and chemo and my uncle says they are hopeful and optimistic but they know that it may be just a stop-gap measure and I am devastated for them, for what lies ahead of them. You really think that the people you love are immortal, you know? They will be there forever, and it’s comforting to think that: they will always be there. Even if you don’t talk to them very often or see them but once in awhile, you know they’re THERE somewhere, living their lives and that means everything is right in the world. But then, it’s not. They’re not. And damn, it just sucks to have that realization shoved home, right in your solar plexus.
If the weather continues fine, I will go buy and plant pansies tomorrow. And for each one I plant, I shall think fiercely at it: LIVE, LIVE, LIVE. Be well, be better, be there. Only it won’t really be the pansies I am thinking it for.