It’s been a blah week, so I was really looking forward to Friday and a chance to relax a bit. I had promised Karin I would drive her to Sandby after I got home from work, since she was going to a disco with classmates and spending the night with a friend. She had brought in the mail and there was a slip for a package on the table addressed to me. I was pleased, as I thought it was the birthday presents and other items I had ordered last week. So I dropped her off and stopped by the...
I haven’t been wanting to come here and write. I haven’t been wanting to write anywhere. It’s spring, and the sun is shining nearly every day and the sky is blue and the crocus are up and the daffodils are coming and I don’t know what is wrong with me. I’m lethargic and grumpy and full of something that smells suspiciously like despair. It’s completely idiotic, and I know it, but for whatever reason, it keeps overpowering me. I feel old and slow and uncool and worried and tired and fat and helpless to make others happy. So. Here’s what...
When the sky is clear at night and pitch black, we can see millions of stars. We can make out constellations (though sadly, we only know about 4 of them by heart) and we can practically reach out and touch the moon when it’s clear. It’s so CLOSE. It’s so bright! The moon isn’t full tonight, but the air is clear as all get out, which it was today as well, after the heavy fog cover burned off just past noon. The sky was a translucent robin’s egg blue, all over, with no flaws and no clouds. The flags around...
Aaaaand, there goes another weekend! The sun has set though we didn’t see much of it the past 2 days. It’s been grey and foggy and now it’s raining. I have been cleaning all damn weekend, so it doesn’t feel like I had any real time off from WORK. Just a different kind of work. Though I did take a 2-hour nap today after Martin and I got home from cleaning at his school for 2.5 hours. It’s a parent-cooperative and we are supposed to go twice a year on their Fixer-days and clean. I would rather pay something to...
I used to stay up late, crafting the perfect post, meticulously searching for the right words, the best phrasing and the funniest anecdotes. Now it’s barely 10 p.m. and I’m so tired I can’t keep my eyes open. Something keeps waking me up around 4 a.m. on work nights. I can’t really get back to sleep and only doze on and off until the alarm blares to life 2+ hours later. I don’t know what it is that is waking me up. Could it be the birds starting their early-morning chirp-fest since the light is brightening early again? Could it...
At the last AWC board meeting, we were discussing the seeming apathy of our club members who aren’t signing up for or participating in many of the activities that are being up on the calendar by our hard-working activities officers. It’s hard organizing activities; it’s a total crapshoot. You never know what’s going to work and what isn’t…some years things get a great turn-out and the next year the same thing has to be cancelled. There are so many factors: time of year, day of week, whether the activity costs money, whether it falls after payday, whatever. You just try...
Being alone makes me introspective; how could it not? I think about things I don’t normally have time to think about, when there’s no pull of constant obligation tugging at my sleeve. I wonder what I’m doing here, what I’ve done, if it was worth it. I’m not done yet, not by far, but sometimes I wonder what exactly I am planning to do with this “one wild and precious life”. (…time passes while I go and read Mary Oliver poems online…) Dichotomy at play: years of experience fill me up and yet there are so many things I haven’t...
Some days I can’t settle at all and others that’s all I seem to be doing. I look at the backs of my hands and think how much smoother they used to be. The crosshatching has always been there; I remember it clearly yet it seems so much more prominent now. The knuckles knobblier, the grooves …groovier. I still bear, here and there, the tiny white scars of cat scratches from long-ago, they’ve faded a great deal. The veins, on the other hand, are not fading, quite the opposite. My hands are still smooth, but not when they are bent...
FBAR: forms for the past 6 years have been completed, printed, ready to copy & mail in…what a load off my mind! Double Dog Dare: Swedish Citizenship application has been mailed in! I’ve heard everything for turnaround time from 2 weeks to 8 months…here’s hoping for shorter, since I need my passport back by May. Family: off on their ski vacation; so I have the house to myself until Thursday night! Game: The whole family is addicted to Draw Something. Do you have it on your iPhone or iPad? It’s like Pictionary in your pocket! Barky: losing it. The amount...