02
Jan
2006

THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT AROUND HERE, ALL RIGHT

There’s never been a time in my life when I didn’t know I was special. Look at all the evidence! Firstborn, a Leo, in the Year of the Dragon, and left-handed to boot. Some may argue that left-handedness is a sinister thing, but we lefties know we’re special and you’ll never convince us otherwise. Why am I not running the world?

If I was running the world, I would make the following proclamations:

SUSHI FOR DINNER whenever I’m in the mood for it or OFF WITH YOUR HEADS!

BACKRUBS and NECKRUBS whenever my neck and/or back hurts or OFF WITH YOUR HEADS!

SLEEPING IN every morning with no disturbances or OFF WITH YOUR HEADS!

I would also make sure that all monies currently devoted to weapons and governmental stupidity would immediately be diverted for more research into how to take the calories out of everything but still leave the taste. More Cookies, Less Weight Gain!

You’d vote for me, admit it.

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