Tagged: beinglizardek

04
Feb
2006

ALL HANDS ON DECK

Sometimes I feel like my life is like the water in the ocean. Waves lap at the shore and retreat with the tides, a palette of colors and motion that stays basically the same, unchanging from day to day. But once in a while a storm blows in, and suddenly the breakers are huge and scary and the dash of spray against the cliffs is drenching everything, and things break up and float away, and it’s hard to see where the lines in the sand once were, and if I’m not careful, the undertow will grab me and pull me...

02
Feb
2006

FOR SOMEONE WITH NOTHING TO SAY I SURE TALK A LOT

I honestly feel I have nothing to say. Which is weird, because I just talked on the phone to a total stranger for nearly half an hour. And weird, because anyone who knows me would say that my not having anything to say is a thing of beauty and a joy forever unusual. *sings softly* Hey ho, anybody listening? Hey ho, anybody here? Hey ho, anybody listening? ……….Anybody caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare? Heh. That was the part of the refrain from a gospel song I sang in Messengers when I was 17. So, what the hell is the matter with me? General malaise...

31
Jan
2006

WHEN THE MOON IS IN THE STUPID HOUSE

You know, I like some of the ideas of astrology, and I think it’s fun to be a fire sign (rawr!) and it’s interesting and all, but the guest speaker who babbled on tonight at the meeting for over an HOUR really made the case AGAINST it despite his self-professed knowledge and experience in a lifelong career as an astrologer. The final straw for me, the one that tipped my eyeballs over and up into the back of my head, where they had been straining to go for what felt like an eternity, was his snippy response to one girl’s...

18
Jan
2006

MENTAL PARENTAL

Life is heating up, along with the earth, which is, although it may not SEEM like it, moving down the orbital arc towards spring. Choir started tonight with a bang. We’ve already got a schedule of concerts through to August, with 3 major programs, including a tour show of the Spanish theater/dance/song/music extravaganza (Sangria!) we put on in 2004. Wheee!! We worked through a couple of our favorites from Sangria, and then started the first song from Stabat Mater, which nearly all the Swedes have sung before and knew, but I’ve never even heard of. Which is a bit strange,...

15
Jan
2006

THINKING OF SOMETHING STUPID TO SAY

It is so quiet in the house that the clickety snick of the computer keys sounds like popping bubble wrap, muted fireworks beneath my fingers. Besides my own self-generated soundtrack, I can hear the hum of the monitor, the quiet drone of computer (slightly lower-pitched), and the murmuring of the aquarium pump. Why all this undertoning doesn’t drive me batshit insane I don’t know, since normally repetitive noises top my list of cut-that-out-before-i-kill-you annoyances. The only other sound is the empty whooshing slap and slurp of my liquid brain; there’s nothing concrete to be had today, it seems. Have I...

07
Jan
2006

IN OTHER WORDS

I’ve just started reading my second Ann-Marie MacDonald book in as many days, The Way The Crow Flies, and I am completely enamoured of her writing style. This second book is about an Air Force family in the early 60s and even though it is the CANADIAN Air Force and not the American one which provided my childhood label of “military brat,” it is already evident after only a few chapters that she has captured the essence of it completely. If you move around all your life, you can’t find where you come from on a map. All those places...

02
Jan
2006

THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT AROUND HERE, ALL RIGHT

There’s never been a time in my life when I didn’t know I was special. Look at all the evidence! Firstborn, a Leo, in the Year of the Dragon, and left-handed to boot. Some may argue that left-handedness is a sinister thing, but we lefties know we’re special and you’ll never convince us otherwise. Why am I not running the world? If I was running the world, I would make the following proclamations: SUSHI FOR DINNER whenever I’m in the mood for it or OFF WITH YOUR HEADS! BACKRUBS and NECKRUBS whenever my neck and/or back hurts or OFF WITH...

30
Dec
2005

BY FEBRUARY I’LL BE SICK OF THIS STUFF…

…but just now it’s marvelous, magical, wondrously winter! Martin and I went out for a walk today, the first of what I hope is a year and more of half hour walks through the changing seasons, through Flyinge in all her colors and decorations. Because of hurting my foot last February I’ve not been able to keep my promise to myself to walk every day this past year. I had to be careful of my foot still, in my big stomper winterboots on slippery streets that have been packed down instead of plowed and snow ridges and piles that shift...

03
Dec
2005

NO PREACHING, JUST PRACTICING

A lot of what’s been on my mind lately has been work-related and not in a good way, and since I won’t talk about work here, I feel like my not being able to talk about work here has been sort of blocking my being able to talk about ANYTHING here. I could lock up the post, I suppose, and get it out, but to be honest, I’m still chewing several things over in my head, and I don’t really want or need advice, because it’s not that kind of thing, it’s more general observations and a bit of discomfort...

14
Nov
2005

BUILDING WALLS INSTEAD OF BRIDGES

No emails. How very sad. I’ve rewritten this entry twice. Two long paragraphs—deleted. Two bulletpoint lists—deleted. My mood is rather wintry, which is appropriate considering the weather is turning. The leaves are pretty much done falling now, instead they dance and swirl and spiral and scuttle. One startled me today by moving exactly like a crab across the road. scuttle, scuttle I had to look twice to make sure we weren’t suddenly at the beach. Another startled me by behaving like a mouse—zip, stop, scurry! The leaves are possessed, it seems. Another couple of paragraphs deleted. I’m such a critic....

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