Tagged: beinglizardek

Why do I do that? Why do I mentally turn away, begin to tune out, slam up a wall as soon as someone starts talking about it? I can feel myself doing it and I have to force myself to listen, force myself not to roll my eyes, not to mentally cover the conversation with a loudly silent YEAH YEAH YEAH inside my skull? Do I do it because I’m in denial? Because I’m so sure that I already KNOW everything that is coming, everything that is being said? Because I hate being lectured at even though I know everyone...

I jammed the ring and pointer fingers of my right hand in an ill-advised, mis-timed high five with the boss of my old job who is a current colleague after a funny comment he made while disco dancing at the work party last night. Ow. Typing hurts like a sonofagun. So if I stop using the i o k l , and . keys you’ll know why. 2 years ago or thereabouts I began to feel that my life was spiraling out of control. Every day was busy, with a job that demanded more of me than any other job...

I keep thinking, while things are happening, oh! I want to write about this. I need to remember this, and I very carefully take the thought and tuck it away and, of course, promptly forget it, so that when I actually have a moment to sit down in front of the computer, all I have is a pocket full of tuckery and no substance. I think I need to start writing reminder notes on my hand again. That always worked in the past. I think I used to write better than I do now. I feel like I’ve run out...

I may be rejoining the living, as things were looking distinctly up, if not perky, today, throat-wise. A few days ago I actually thought I was having a panic attack at the office, mostly brought on by being sick and strangly, what with the not being able to swallow thing, but also because my workload has been towering over me and getting higher and higher like a swaying skyscraper of project-child’s-blocks, teetering creakily this way and that, just stopping short of tipping over with a crash and the wild bonking of blocks on skull by the fact that I am...

What does your name say about you? Do you think it reflects who you are or who you’ve become? Are you able to get past the popular associations that load it down? When we were choosing names for our children, besides wanting them to be names we liked and felt comfortable with, we also had the requirement that they work both in America and in Sweden. Thus, no names starting with J since in Swedish J is pronounced with a Y sound. I dwelt lovingly over lists of names in baby name books, but the MEANINGS didn’t weigh that much...