One good thing about text messages… your words don’t bubble into the air and nothingness and then you can photoshop an entire conversation for posterity. Even if posterity is rolling its eyes. Martin sent me a photo of one of his favorite actresses, Sarah Paulson, who is going to be on a spin-off of one of his favorite shows today. He’s blue, I’m gray:
I don’t even know what to write about anymore. There are things I can’t write about that are filling up my brain. There are things I could write about, but I don’t even know what they are. Ideas run through my mind and bubble into nothing by the time I sit down. Funny conversations disappear into the air, expelled on the breath of memory and forgetfulness. Even when I have ideas, they seem stupid. They seem trite and banal and, above all, boring. And then I forget what I was going to say again. I’ve been keeping this blog since...
I live too far away from my first family. My husband is gone all week. I’m in the middle of a class-A freakout about US tax and bank reports. Yes, again, it happens every year and every year it gets worse. My boss asked me if I’d like to go to the States for a couple of days but it’s right in the middle of the Swedish vacation period and I don’t know if we can make it work, and it might be my only chance this year. Martin and I just had a fight about driving. We’re out of...
My friend Sheryl recently wrote about having no one to do things with; that her family has other interests and most of the time they don’t coincide with hers. I often feel the same way. I know that people think I have a perfect life and a perfect family, but the truth is, I have a good life and a family that, while we love one another and enjoy each other’s company most of the time, have very different needs and hobbies and passions. I have a couple of good friends here that share some my interests and thankfully I...
It’s raining again, and the lacy tracery of spring leaves against the branches of the trees is filling out into that one-color summer green already. At least I haven’t had to water the pansies but once since I planted them. I’m home early for a long weekend, though I was home sick all day yesterday, so it turned out to be an even shorter week than I anticipated. Tomorrow is Ascension Day which we have a holiday for in Sweden and my company gives us half-days off before holidays as well as the “pinch” day for Friday. Nice! Martin: *because...
I just finished reading All the Light We Cannot See and it was SO good. So so very good. In fact, I might start over reading it again. Or I might do that thing I do (and you do, too, admit it), which is download and devour everything he’s ever written. Which is another novel and 2 collections of short stories. I’m actually a little wary about the short stories, because I’ve found that, much as I love them, they don’t seem to stick in my brain the way full-length books do. And then I buy them again, forgetting I’ve...
We’re down to half the family this week, though with the amount of time Karin spends away from home, I might as well be living alone. Living da vida loca. Actually, living la vida aburrida, since my life is nowhere near all that crazy. Martin and I got up at 4:15 a.m. this morning. At least we LOOKED like we were up. We were vertical and moving, albeit slowly and with our eyes squinched shut. I kept waking up all night long, checking the clock, with that fear of sleeping through the alarm that I often get before I’m going...
I don’t remember this so clearly from my years in Chicago, but here in Sweden, one really lives after and by the seasons. I find myself looking out for the annual marker of the start of each season and feeling such satisfaction when it’s noted. Spring: pied wagtails Summer: clouds of gnats hovering in the summer evening air Fall: sugar beets on the side of the road (fallen off trucks) Winter: Advent candelabra Yesterday, I saw my first pied wagtail, so now it’s OFFICIALLY spring. The lacy tracery of bright green leaves wasn’t enough. The lush pad of fresh grass...
Around every corner, the fuchsias are glowing. The bird cherries have exploded like white blossom popcorn trees and the magnolias are about to blow. There are little leaves on the lilacs but they’re still a couple of weeks away. The thornbush in the back yard has also exploded with starry white blossoms. It’s not really a bush anymore; it’s nearly a tree. I wonder what it is? Hawthorn? Blackthorn? Judging from what I found online, it is either a blackthorn or a cherry plum. I’ll have to pay more attention to the fruit later, but I’m pretty sure it’s not...
Ever since we moved to Sweden, I have had a couple of boxes of old clothes in the back of the closet. Because I got pregnant almost right away after we moved here and gained a lot of weight with both pregnancies and have never really gotten it off, I have never been able to once again wear the clothes that are in the boxes. Several years ago, my friend Debbie, who is as good as my sister at helping others to clear out clutter, went through the boxes with me, and I managed to pare down the boxes to...