{"id":996,"date":"2005-10-24T20:20:00","date_gmt":"2005-10-25T01:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/2005\/10\/24\/robbed-of-innocence\/"},"modified":"2022-07-05T14:48:53","modified_gmt":"2022-07-05T12:48:53","slug":"robbed-of-innocence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/2005\/10\/24\/robbed-of-innocence\/","title":{"rendered":"ROBBED OF INNOCENCE"},"content":{"rendered":"

I think I just shocked my daughter out of a year’s growth. We were getting them ready for bed, and she held her hands up in front of her with her fingers steepled in a praying position and bade me do the same. I dutifully held up my hands and copied her. <\/p>\n

“Has your mother ever stolen anything?” she asked.<\/p>\n

“No,” I answered. <\/p>\n

“Okay, now fold down your little fingers,” she commanded.<\/p>\n

I did.<\/p>\n

“Has your father ever stolen anything?” she asked next.<\/p>\n

“Um…not that I know of,” I answered.<\/p>\n

She squinched up her eyes and pursed her lips and said, “Okay, we’ll make that a ‘no,” she decided. “Fold down your ring fingers.”<\/p>\n

I did, wondering where this was going.<\/p>\n

“Have you ever stolen anything?” she asked.<\/p>\n

I hesitated. “Yes,” I said.<\/p>\n

Her eyes flew open and her mouth mirrored them. “Mama!” A pause, while she tried unsuccessfully to take this obviously earth-shaking news in. I stifled a laugh and tried to look solemn. “You did? You STOLE something?!”<\/p>\n

I nodded. She looked sternly at me, hands still in half-praying position. “What did you steal?”<\/p>\n

“You know the bench in our bedroom<\/a>?” She nodded. “I stole that,” I said. Again with the rounded mouth and the shocked look. “You STOLE that bench?! from a park??”<\/p>\n

I nodded again. <\/p>\n

“Why did you steal it?” she demanded. “I was young and stupid,” I said remorsefully to her disapproving face. “I never did it again.”<\/p>\n

Another pause while this was digested, then the game recalled itself to her mind.<\/p>\n

“Okay, well, anyway, fold down your big fingers.”<\/p>\n

I did. Then in a rush, she said, “Now what do you have in your hands?…A gun! BANG!” and she pointed her cocked pointer fingers at me and pulled the trigger while I tried vainly to bring my own weapon to bear.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Little does she know: I stole two of them at the same time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I think I just shocked my daughter out of a year’s growth. We were getting them ready for bed, and she held her hands up in front of her with her fingers steepled in a praying position and bade me do the same. I dutifully held up my hands and copied her. “Has your mother ever stolen anything?” she asked. “No,” I answered. “Okay, now fold down your little fingers,” she commanded. I did. “Has your father ever stolen anything?” she asked next. “Um…not that I know of,” I answered. She squinched up her eyes and pursed her lips and...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[12,16],"class_list":["post-996","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","tag-karinbean","tag-thewaywewere"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/996","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=996"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/996\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5478,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/996\/revisions\/5478"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=996"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=996"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=996"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}