{"id":811,"date":"2005-03-23T22:00:00","date_gmt":"2005-03-24T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/2005\/03\/23\/relativity\/"},"modified":"2022-07-05T14:54:14","modified_gmt":"2022-07-05T12:54:14","slug":"relativity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/2005\/03\/23\/relativity\/","title":{"rendered":"RELATIVITY"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>There&#8217;s nothing for making you feel old like your baby brother having a birthday. Any birthday. 30 was one of the best years of my life, and I had no problem whatsoever with it, ditto with 31 through 34&#8230;but the year I turned 35 my baby brother turned 30 and HOLY SHIT WAS I OLD.<\/p>\n<p><b>Super Duper Slacker Birthday Wishes to <a href=\"http:\/\/johann_metzger.livejournal.com\/\" class=\"lj-user\">johann_metzger<\/a>!<\/b><\/p>\n<p>In other news, how much prison time can I expect for totally braining my child if she doesn&#8217;t SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP ALREADY?!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There&#8217;s nothing for making you feel old like your baby brother having a birthday. Any birthday. 30 was one of the best years of my life, and I had no problem whatsoever with it, ditto with 31 through 34&#8230;but the year I turned 35 my baby brother turned 30 and HOLY SHIT WAS I OLD. Super Duper Slacker Birthday Wishes to johann_metzger! In other news, how much prison time can I expect for totally braining my child if she doesn&#8217;t SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP ALREADY?!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-811","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/811","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=811"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/811\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5718,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/811\/revisions\/5718"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=811"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=811"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=811"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}