{"id":1072,"date":"2006-01-15T22:09:00","date_gmt":"2006-01-16T04:09:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/2006\/01\/15\/thinking-of-something-stupid-to-say\/"},"modified":"2022-07-05T14:48:25","modified_gmt":"2022-07-05T12:48:25","slug":"thinking-of-something-stupid-to-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/2006\/01\/15\/thinking-of-something-stupid-to-say\/","title":{"rendered":"THINKING OF SOMETHING STUPID TO SAY"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It is so quiet in the house that the clickety snick of the computer keys sounds like popping bubble wrap, muted fireworks beneath my fingers. Besides my own self-generated soundtrack, I can hear the hum of the monitor, the quiet drone of computer (slightly lower-pitched), and the murmuring of the aquarium pump. Why all this undertoning doesn&#8217;t drive me batshit insane I don&#8217;t know, since normally repetitive noises top my list of cut-that-out-before-i-kill-you annoyances. The only other sound is the empty whooshing slap and slurp of my liquid brain; there&#8217;s nothing concrete to be had today, it seems.<\/p>\n<p>Have I run out of things to write about? Am I completely squeezed dry? It&#8217;s strange that topics don&#8217;t spring to mind as I sit, slack-jawed, playing Spider Solitaire. Pulling out the sofabeds to vacuum under and around them elicited no ideas of interest. The dishwasher has been run twice, it&#8217;s as clean and empty as my mind appears to be. I watched while Anders cleaned the fish tank, but nothing floated to the surface. Even bathtime was a bust.<\/p>\n<p>Out trolling the web I sense the silence here, too. All quiet on the blogstern front.<\/p>\n<p><b>Conversation at the Dinner Table Last Night<\/b>:<br \/>\n<font size=\"-3\">(background\u2014Mats and his son Viktor are the other participants in the annual weeklong ski trip that Anders and the kids go on each January)<\/font><br \/>\nMats: &#8230;and you guys are just WAITING for us to leave!<br \/>\nLiz &#038; Annelott: *laugh and nod*<br \/>\nAnnelott: Have you thought about making it TWO weeks?<br \/>\nMats: How come YOU TWO never take the kids and go somewhere?<br \/>\nAnders: Yeah! You could take the kids and go on a cultural trip for a week&#8230;<br \/>\nMats: &#8230;and we could drink beer and play motorcycle games on the PC! I think that&#8217;s only fair. We carry the kids away for a week every year, and you guys never do. It&#8217;s your turn!<br \/>\nLiz: *makes a face at him* We carried those kids for nine months, Mats.<br \/>\nAnnelott: Yeah! *hoots with laughter*<br \/>\nMats &#038; Anders: *concede amid declarations of unfairness*<\/p>\n<p><b>A Conversation I Can Get Behind<\/b>:<br \/>\nLiz: I woke up with a cramp in my butt today. Will you rub my butt?<br \/>\nAnders: *gives me a look*<br \/>\nLiz: It&#8217;s TRUE. It&#8217;s right here and it won&#8217;t go away! *indicates area of pain* I was hoping it would pull out when I went for my walk, but it didn&#8217;t help.<br \/>\nAnders: Have you tried stretching it?<br \/>\nLiz: Only half-assedly.<br \/>\nAnders: *pauses in disbelief*<br \/>\nLiz: *giggles madly*<\/p>\n<p><b>Now THAT&#8217;S My Idea of Better Lessons For Blogging<\/b>: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.alistapart.com\/articles\/writebetter\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">How to Write a Better Weblog<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It is so quiet in the house that the clickety snick of the computer keys sounds like popping bubble wrap, muted fireworks beneath my fingers. Besides my own self-generated soundtrack, I can hear the hum of the monitor, the quiet drone of computer (slightly lower-pitched), and the murmuring of the aquarium pump. Why all this undertoning doesn&#8217;t drive me batshit insane I don&#8217;t know, since normally repetitive noises top my list of cut-that-out-before-i-kill-you annoyances. The only other sound is the empty whooshing slap and slurp of my liquid brain; there&#8217;s nothing concrete to be had today, it seems. Have I&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[4],"class_list":["post-1072","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","tag-beinglizardek"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1072","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1072"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1072\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5381,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1072\/revisions\/5381"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1072"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1072"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1072"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}