{"id":1060,"date":"2006-01-03T23:21:00","date_gmt":"2006-01-04T05:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/2006\/01\/03\/number-of-braincells-required\/"},"modified":"2022-07-05T14:48:36","modified_gmt":"2022-07-05T12:48:36","slug":"number-of-braincells-required","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/2006\/01\/03\/number-of-braincells-required\/","title":{"rendered":"NUMBER OF BRAINCELLS REQUIRED"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>to realize it&#8217;s the alarm going off in the black hole of morning: <b>1%<\/b>\n<\/li>\n<li>to realize it&#8217;s the alarm going off AGAIN and make a flapping motion in the correct direction to make it stop: <b>1%<\/b>\n<\/li>\n<li>to stumble up from bed, collect clothing, shower, dress, makeup, transport children to daycare, wave goodbye: <b>1%<\/b>\n<\/li>\n<li>to drive to work: <b>1%<\/b>\n<\/li>\n<li>to hold conversations, check and respond to urgent emails, finish layout revisions on a 24-page brochure, create 2 HTML invitations, and a product page, send things to print, finalize and distribute 15 email newsletters successfully, move collateral inventory, create technical schematics, help a new colleague with questions, attend meetings, plan upcoming projects, interact with co-workers and new boss: <b>70%<\/b>\n<\/li>\n<li>to drive home from work: <b>1%<\/b>\n<\/li>\n<li>to stop at the grocery store and remember the urgent items needed at home without benefit of written list: <b>1%<\/b>\n<\/li>\n<li>to go for half hour brisk walk through neighborhood, down snail trail, around Flyinge and back again with both kids talking a mile a minute: <b>6%<\/b>\n<\/li>\n<li>to make dinner, bathe children, sing songs, make jokes, read bedtime stories, tuck and kiss goodnight: <b>8%<\/b>\n<\/li>\n<li>to refrain from eating more than one cookie for dessert: <b>5%<\/b>\n<\/li>\n<li>to read half a book in a sort of trance: <b>5%<\/b>\n<\/li>\n<li>to write a scintillating, provocative, and interesting journal entry:<br \/><b>OOPS\u2014None left<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><font size=\"-3\">(actual number of braincells required to make the math on the above percentages come out right: <b>142%<\/b> <i>sigh<\/i>)<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>to realize it&#8217;s the alarm going off in the black hole of morning: 1% to realize it&#8217;s the alarm going off AGAIN and make a flapping motion in the correct direction to make it stop: 1% to stumble up from bed, collect clothing, shower, dress, makeup, transport children to daycare, wave goodbye: 1% to drive to work: 1% to hold conversations, check and respond to urgent emails, finish layout revisions on a 24-page brochure, create 2 HTML invitations, and a product page, send things to print, finalize and distribute 15 email newsletters successfully, move collateral inventory, create technical schematics, help&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[25],"class_list":["post-1060","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","tag-adayinthelife"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1060","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1060"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1060\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5394,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1060\/revisions\/5394"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1060"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1060"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1060"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}