Is having yearly colonoscopies a thing I have to look forward to now, like having yearly mammograms because I’m a woman between the ages of 40 amd 74? It was the same home test 2 years ago that started me on this health crisis trip to colitis (not really, but it feels like it, and I like having SOMETHING to blame). I’ve had 2 colonoscopies now (and I just had to fucking GOOGLE the plural of colonoscopy because my brain and my fingers kept typing colonoscopys) and I can assert that while having a colonoscopy is no fun, having to drink the TWO SOLID LITERS of awful powdered GLUNK that you have to drink to empty your entire system for 4 hours before is MUCH MUCH WORSE. So, when I got a home kit a few weeks ago, I could feel myself shuddering in anticipation, because I just KNEW that if I did it, if I sent in the test (which says it is looking for “invisible blood in your stool”) that it would come back positive and I would have to have another colonoscopy.<\/p>\n
Which is EXACTLY what has happened. I got the notice today that the test was positive and there is indeed, just like there was 2 years ago, invisible blood. In my stool. I feel like the fact that it’s invisible should give you a pass…if you can’t see it, NOTHING IS REALLY WRONG. Alas.<\/p>\n
I only say “Alas” to bother Chuck, if he’s reading (also because it makes me laugh). As if reading about me and my colonoscopies wasn’t already enough to bother anyone.<\/p>\n
When I got the home test, I wrote to my doctor at the Stomach\/Intestine Department that has me under its care, and asked if I should take the test, since it hadn’t come from them. It came from the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm. I don’t remember now where that first one 2 years ago came from. Probably Region Sk\u00e5ne, but maybe Karolinska. Moot. They answered, literally, “Sure, go ahead.” At some point in the near future, I’ll get an appointment notice in the mail. For a colonoscopy. And a prescription for that AWFUL FUCKING POWDER GLUNK. *shudder*<\/p>\n
I think it’s amazing and wonderful that Sweden’s socialized healthcare system offers all of these kinds of free tests and keeps track for you and gives you appointments that are almost always free of charge or at least very very inexpensive. So, I feel a kind of obligation to take them up on it when they offer them. But the GLUNK is a deal-breaker. I do not want to do this every year. I do not want to have to choke down the awful stuff again, or ever again, or ever.<\/p>\n
Are there good things about aging? I’d really like to know, as so far the best I can come up with is that it’s better than the alternative. Which isn’t much comfort. <\/p>\n
UGH.<\/p>\n
*Mark Twain<\/em><\/p>\n Mood: glum Is having yearly colonoscopies a thing I have to look forward to now, like having yearly mammograms because I’m a woman between the ages of 40 amd 74? It was the same home test 2 years ago that started me on this health crisis trip to colitis (not really, but it feels like it, and I like having SOMETHING to blame). I’ve had 2 colonoscopies now (and I just had to fucking GOOGLE the plural of colonoscopy because my brain and my fingers kept typing colonoscopys) and I can assert that while having a colonoscopy is no fun, having to...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":7884,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[4,20],"class_list":["post-10377","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general","tag-beinglizardek","tag-littlemisssunshine"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10377","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10377"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10377\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10378,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10377\/revisions\/10378"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7884"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10377"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10377"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10377"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nMusic: Kim Wilde\u2014Four Letter Word<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"