I’m pretty grateful that I’ve never lacked for friends. Even though we moved around all the time when I was young, I was in school and made friends pretty easily everywhere we went. When I started university, I didn’t know anyone, but my years as a military brat stood me in good stead and there was a built-in way to meet people and make friends with all the women on my dorm floor and in my classes. I moved to Chicago after college with a friend, and made friends at the company I worked for. It seems to me in general that many people in the US make their friends through work or in sports. Here in Sweden, they tend to make them through school and also in the sports circles. When I moved to Sweden, I had a built-in friend network with Anders’ friends, and after joining in on the start of the American Women’s Club in Malm\u00f6, I gained even more lifelong friends there. I made friends in some of the choirs I was in, as well. I know that I’ve been lucky, but I’ve also worked hard to keep my friendships current, and to find likeminded people in the ways that are open to me. <\/p>\n
If I didn’t have the club here, I’d probably have started one myself. \ud83d\ude00 I would have used Facebook meetup groups to start book groups, or other types of get-togethers. I think it would have been a lot different for me, if I hadn’t been able to tap into the international community the way I have. I’ve made friends through work as well, and I’m friendly with my neighbors, but most definitely the deepest friendships I have here are a result of meeting through the international club. <\/p>\n
There’s a young woman at work who is struggling with loneliness and a lack of friends here. She moved to Sk\u00e5ne some years ago for work, and only has a sister in the area. She’s bounced a bit back and forth between Malm\u00f6 and Stockholm, and has settled in Lund at the moment. But she’s really feeling the lack of friends to hang out with, go out with, do things with. She’s also joined a choir, and I hope that leads to some friendships. I was going to suggest some of the meetup groups that I know about in the area, but I’m actually not sure if they are for internationals or open to anyone. I think your early 30s are a particularly vulnerable time to be alone, especially as a young woman, when there is still so much societal expectation that you should have met someone by now, and should be starting the next phase of your life (building a family, etc.) that is still such an ingrown, however wrongful, assumption.<\/p>\n
My kids both have pretty wide friend circles. Martin maybe a little less so than Karin, but his friendships are rock solid. Karin seems to know everyone, everywhere, and is always busy with friends. Neither of them have ever seemed to have any problems making friends, both at school, Karin in her soccer teams, and at their various jobs. Anders, too, has a pretty solid group of friends from childhood, school, Scouts, and work. <\/p>\n
I wonder how it will be later, as I age. I’m sure I’ll still be active in the club, as long as I’m able, and I hope it will still be possible to make friends when and where we eventually move when we downsize (eek). I still work at my older friendships: writing letters, texting, keeping in touch in little ways, Zooming with Becky in the US, having visitors. I know it will be harder later, and I’m not looking forward to that kind of period of vulnerability. I’ll just have to hope my friend-making skills will continue to serve me. After all, it’s not only my friends that are far away, it’s family, too. I already know how easy it is to let relationships and friendships slide, which is why I try harder to keep them current. I don’t always feel like I’m doing a good job at it, but a little effort goes a long way. I’m especially lucky to be good friends with both my siblings. That feels pretty damn great.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you have two friends in your lifetime, you’re lucky. If you have one good friend, you’re more than lucky.\u201d
\n\u2015 S.E. Hinton<\/p>\n
Mood: nostalgic I’m pretty grateful that I’ve never lacked for friends. Even though we moved around all the time when I was young, I was in school and made friends pretty easily everywhere we went. When I started university, I didn’t know anyone, but my years as a military brat stood me in good stead and there was a built-in way to meet people and make friends with all the women on my dorm floor and in my classes. I moved to Chicago after college with a friend, and made friends at the company I worked for. It seems to me in...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":7814,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[4,14,5],"class_list":["post-10364","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general","tag-beinglizardek","tag-goodthings","tag-puttingwordstogether"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10364","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10364"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10364\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10369,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10364\/revisions\/10369"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7814"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10364"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10364"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lizardek.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10364"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nMusic: Chromeo and Solange\u2014Lost on the Way Home<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"